The ANTI-Dream Gun Thread!

[cantab]

We already had the SuiSoaker...it was called the XP Backfire

Or, for that matter, the Max-D Secret Strike. A couple of years back a friend of mine picked up the blaster, held it the wrong way evidently having mistaken the filler cap for the nozzle. and proceeded to shoot himself.

[zeda.beta]

Lol, the Secret Strike was still decent if you drilled the fan nozzle.

[cantab]

I basically prized it out, for a riot blast. Bit weak tbh, but still better than the fan.

[GutsNGlory]

We already had the SuiSoaker...it was called the XP Backfire

Heh I was just about to post the same thing. Super Soaker already made it, its called the Backfire.

[martianshark]

How about a piston gun with two .5x nozzles that are angled towards each other...

NEW! The SUPER SOAKER CROSSFIRE! This beast's two nozzles are angled towards each other so that they collide into a huge explosion of water! Your friends won't be able to escape the splash from this "weapon!" Buy it now for just $19.99! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

[cantab]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyaLZHiJJnE

That would, indeed, be bad.

[SEAL]

How about: The Arctic Blast Elite 5th Anniversary Edition?

It would just be a repainted Arctic Shock that's piston powered instead of air pressure.

Advertisement:
The ALL NEW SUPER SOAKER ARCTIC SHOCK ELITE 5TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION!!!!! Commemorating the best and most powerful Super Soaker in history! Now upgraded with only single pump 'n fire! You now only have to pump ONCE to release freezing streams of soaking water! FREEZE 'EM ALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And of course it would show the usual picture of some kid soaking another kid with icicles hanging from the stream and the other kid. Oversized stream and all.

Price: 34.99. ( )

This year actually is the 5th anniversary of the infamous blaster. They might have to wait another 5 years for the 10th anniversary.

[martianshark]

How about a bad PR gun painted pink...

"Who would expect a large high-powered stream from a pink water gun? Nobody. That's the beauty of the new SUPER SOAKER PINK FORCE! This "weapon" shoots a high powered .5x stream, and you can charge it up beforehand so you can fire right when you need to! Plus it's painted pink! Your friends will never expect it!"

[SEAL]

Okay, how about a rather oversized terrible piston gun that has a M203 grenade launcher type thing on the bottom that shoots out smoke.

It would be called the SmokerSoaker. Here's the ad.

When the battle gets tough, you have to get tougher! And nothing does it better then the ALL NEW SUPER SOAKER SMOKERSOAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Turn on the "Smokerizer" to blanket your foes in blinding smoke, then blast 'em with high-powered soaking streams of water! They'll never be able to fight back!
From NERF, creators of the ABSOLUTE BEST water "weapons" ever!!!

It would show a gigantic cloud of smoke enveloping someone, and then it would show the kid with the blaster firing an oversized stream into the smoke. Then of course the kid would go: "It's NERF or nuthin'!" Price: $39.99 USD.


But these are all just dollar store type blasters. The absolute worst thing I can think of, what would make me have a heart-attack is:

THE DOOR JAMMER BLASTER!! This awesome blaster can OPEN DOORS as well as giving your opponent a good soaking!

It would use squirt pistol tech, and be so poorly made, that it would fall apart after shooting it like 2 or 3 times. There wouldn't be anything special about it. The commercial would just show some kid pushing open a door with the nozzle of the gun, then soaking his opponent with an overpowered stream.(Why would you call it the Door "Jammer"?) The price would be $50,000.00 USD.
That's it. That's the worst thing I can think of. Actually, I can think of other things that
soak and do something else completely useless for outrageous prices. The list is endless!

[DX]

A CPS 2000 re-release that looks like the real thing, but is a nerf gun that shoots 25 ft and does not hold any water. Reverse plunger, Max-D trigger, modern nerf gun colors

[cantab]

Actually, a Super Soaker with a smoke generator attachment would be cool. OK it probably would end up not creating enough smoke to be very useful, and the smoke canisters would be expensive and not sold anywhere. But still, better than a lot of the real blasters.

[martianshark]

I have an idea... a bad piston gun with an intake tube instead of a reservoir.

Does refilling take too long? Not anymore with the SUPER SOAKER QUICKFILLER!!!!!!! Reloading take SECONDS. Just dip the quick-fill tube into a source of water, extend the pump and you're ready to go! Then push in the pump to release a HUGE, LONG LASTING stream of water! [it only lasts somewhat long because of its rediculously small nozzle] While your friends are quickly trying to fill their "weapons," you'll be ready to soak in no time!

It's basically an overcomplicated stream machine with a much smaller pump diameter and nozzle.

If the smoke thingy was made, it would be a tactical rail accessory.

[isoaker_com]

Coming Soon: The Super Soaker Breeze!

Find yourself out-soaked in a battle? Worry no more! With the Super Soaker Breeze portable drying system, you can dry off those wet spots in seconds! (more like minutes to hours, but you know how awesome commercials make products look). Soaked again? Never a problem if you have the Super Soaker Breeze by your side!

Super Soaker Breeze (a.k.a. portable hair dryer)
12 D-Cell batteries required; not included.
Not as loud as a Boeing 747 during takeoff, but close.

[JuchTurtles]

Coming Summer 2011:

The Anti-Freeze SMASHERBLASTER:

In the heat of a hardcore battle (Summer or Winter), in temperatures above or BELOW 0 degrees (Celcius), you'll be able to fight your enemies with the new SuperSoaker Anti-Freeze SMASHERBLASTER. Insulated Reservoir lets you put up a fight in any temperature. Shoot off a 16 foot, .25x, pump-action shot, or leave you're oppenents in the cold with a R!OT Blast (GIT SOME fools!).

Coming to Walmarts everywhere April 25, 2011.

Price: $40
Colors: Orange reservoir, Navy Blue body, and Orange Caps.


Hey everybody, I'm back to SSC. I relize I missed the contest, though.

[SEAL]

The smokersoaker would be pretty cool if it actually worked well. (Though I'd rather use smoke grenades.) But it would only shoot out a little thin smokescreen that wouldn't be much help. And yes, the smoke refill packs would cost like $20 USD. (The blaster itself would only come with one smoke canister.)