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Old 09-04-2004, 12:14 AM   #1
Soakologist
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THORAXCORP ASKS: Is there times when you don't know so much?

That's right ladies and germs, you guys can be really dumb! But that's okay.....
here at Thorac Corp LLC,,. we say "The Dummer the Bedder."

We understand, and we can help. By participation in our Economic Remasterings
Pressuring and Development Department Office Party Program, You kan know more by up
to 6.29%***!

That's no APR!

This ain't no disco!

They'll be no fooling around!

This program will take what you currently have to offer the world, and use it to our
advantage. And by "our," I mean the royal "our." The kind of "our" where you send us
all your stuff, and we sell it and have an office party. Then you get to come, and be
the first to put your royal "butt" on the copy machine!

That's right, we have two copy machines! Send us your
stuff!

Now, let's get really out there. Let's take ourselves somewhere where no other
CORPORATION LLC,,. will take you. Somewhere you haven't been since college........


Ultimate SUCCESS ENtering a State of Knowledginess.


That's right. The only place where we can really realize the knowledge and respect
that we attempt to observe through the use of consumers[sic. isms]!

<href img _GIRL, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!"

And if you or your spouse have troubles following, that's okay tooo! We've already
established that you're in the need of these services. Did you forget how dum and
unsuccessful at knowlegdge you are? PRobably SO!

That,s why we are here. WE WON'T FORGET STUFF >LIKE THAT!

So, the first step is granting your power of attorney to

Rode DeLabor, THorax CORP. co,m

Then, save us more money, and send us your stuff.

THEN..................OPEN UP AND LET THE KNOWLEDGE SEEP IN!

IT'S Just THAT EASY!

**This number was invented by a member of our Kolumbian Koffee Division. He's the only
person we know dummer than you.

----

THORAX PDA!

Dear Fellow fan of Utter Stardom,

We're just as sick of unsolicited emails as you are. That's why we're sending
this FREE EMAIL ADVERTISEMENT to you free of solicitaion! Don't ask us!
We just work here!

We're the DIFFERENCE! THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. is off the wall with stardom.
You can't ask for a better chance to begain your personal STACHE of Financial,
Physical, Global, Mental, Bental, or OVERALL stardom! Let us woo you with
our fast talk and cheap hotels! An open door at THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
is a SECURITY VIOLATION! But an open door to STARDOM always leads to better
interest.

Talk about pushy, we won't stop until you've laid it down with THORAX CORPORATION
LLC,,. eleven times!

What we're offering is different, in fact, it's mifferent. Not only because
THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. is the only Stardom game in town, but because
we're the ONLY stardom game in town. We make the difference that all the
others despise.

You want a TOTAL STARDOM SOLUTION for your new wife or mistress? Look on
further! We can't guarantee up to 1,000 different ways that we'll let you
down. AND THAT'S A PORMISE!

You want proof? 1 in 5 males ages 18-24 just brought over a WHOLE HUGE PILE
of memos and papers to my desk. ONE IN FIVE! I'm up to my ears! Horse
it on there! THORAX in a minit? Now you can with THORAX PDA!

We know PALMTOP DEVICES are all the rage, in fact, we're so pissed off we
can hardly stand it. But we won't let that stop us. THORAX PDA is engineered
twice. That's TWO TIMES! Here's how it works:

-Get an idea
-Now get a good idea
-Write it down on a napkin AND YOU'RE ALL SET

We're taking submissions all day, heck, all yesterday! Send us anything!
Know what PDA stands for? Let us know! Got an idea for a Second Income Breeze?
Give us the scoop. Remember the time? Show us your goods!

This will make us rich. No, scratch that, this will make us FILTHY! And
we promise that any benefit for THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. is a benefit for
Gent Delabor, Sr.

----

SECOND INCOME STREAK

Are you tired of the daily routine of washing and drying? Fixed on
income but not on detergent?

THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. can make you a second income stream that
will impress well wishers and approach nay sayers with stardom!

Work from home! Make $40 a week! One-Two-Three--Here we go!

Just send this email to 40 of your nearest friend. One at a time
please, no delabors. NO DELABORS!

I was a 45-55 year old male dying of cancer before THORAX
CORPORATION LLC,,. brought me stardom that fixed! The stardom I
deserved? Second Income Stream dot com was all it took to get me
back on my feet. New house, new job, best results from THORAX
CORPORATION LLC,,. Way to go THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.! Can it!

Once we receive from our beta test email program that your headers
have reached 4,000 of your closest best, we will start the stream
ahead. Second Income Street dot com will make you a (?--?)ionaire
for the dreams! Scroll down this page and count to 3. The Stream
won't come true if you don't forward all HEADERS to 40 of them.
Again, we're sorry, but due to tender FCC regulations AMERICAN
EXPRESS TRAVELERS CHEQUES CORPORATION INC, denies all delabors.
NO DELABORS!

>-|-O

"This is guy is on top!" Proven from testimony:

"Absolutely all the way! Second Ingrown Stream dot com really
workssss!"
- R. Delabor

"What is it? Money from both sides? Let's start THORAX
CORPORATION LLC,,. off with a start!"
- Mark Delabor

"I just found a Burrito in the freezer! Fo' shixxle!"
- G. Delabo(u)r?

"I can't remember the last time Second Income Trees dot com
didn't help out my stardom. Financial stardom numero ONE!"
- L. Delabor

************

We're just starting out. Welcome THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
towards you with generous stardom. Once you begin the second
stream, we can get underway. Watch as you receive up to (one)
check a month for as much as $40 each way.

THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. in conjunction with Second Income
Dream dot com. WE'RE OUT TO MAKE YOU MONEY THROUGH BETTER
STARDOM.


- Gent Delabor, Sr.
CEO THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
Webmaster Second Income Streak dot com
CFO GLOBAL STARDOM ENTERTAINMENT

****License Disclaimer: Viewing/Deleting/Forwarding of this
email are prohibited under DELABOR 4 of Federal Internet
Communication Act passed January 21, 2000. 56.7.9 Article 47
b-d of Santa Clause 8F. Under full penalty of law, violators
of Aricle 47 b-d may face up to years in prism or 30 day
money-back guarantee. By accepting this agreement you hold
you and your _______ liable for any and only litigation
brought forth from THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. Entering into
this agreement binds you under common law marriage to Gent
Delabor Sr. and his (3) blood relatives [Rode Delabor],
[Mark Delabor],[Leg Delabor]. If any or all of these
personages should perish, experience loss of life, or loss
of pant at any time while under said Agreement, all parties
should be held at 403 Figgis Street NW, Mundelow, PA 80808.
Please indicate one item that you will bring:

_Chips
_Soda
_Paper Plates/ Napkins
_Gandhi
_Brownies/ Cookies
_Recorded Music
_Pretzels
_Pretzel Thins
_Pretzel Twists
_Pretzel Braids
_Pretend Girls
_Pretend Friends

Agreed to upon several dates not imposed through a court of
law November 13th, 1988. MCMXVLLII THORAX CORPORATION LLC,..

----
THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. is SORRY!

SORRY YOU HAVEN'T PAID US YET!

That's right! We're sick and tired of waiting for your money!
So we're going to make it so YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

How you might ask? By offering you the STARDOM OF THE LIFETIME!

Our Stardomineers™ have been schemeing for hours and they've
finally come up with the solution we both need, a true Stardom
Scheme that'll fix you good! Listen to this XPBackfire-esque!

Elvybody wants that new deck, that old porch 911, or that hideous
veranda across the street. Who wouldn't? Well now you're thyme has
come! There's no reason for you to pass this up. We could say we'll
cut up your family, but then we'd go to PRISON! Why resist? Open your
arms slowly, so as not to startle us, and let our Stardom come boring
into you.

Here's how it works:

-Tell a fiend about THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
-Lie to them until they give you a check made out to Gent Delabor, Sr.
-Send us that check (US Dollars only! Canadian currency will be spit
on and returned!)
-We'll cross out the amount your friend wrote and write down how
much we really want.
-Now it's your turn!
-Try and grow a third arm.
-Take one of your own blank checks and make it out to yourself.
-Now cross out the amount you wrote and write down how much you
really want.
-Take that check TO THE BANK!
-Repeat until optimum Stardom is achieved.

It's really that easy! Do it from home, in your spare time, or whenever
we call you! If you tell one friend, that's only one check. But if you
tell 12 friends, that's at least 5 CHECKS! Imagine, spend money you never
even earned and live like a true Burger King!

They say 'proof is in the pudding,' but we hate pudding! Here are
some quotes:

Gary Pantselection won't stop going:

"The Stardom is dripping through my hands!
Somebody get me a bowl!"

E.L. Fudge commands:

"I called 911 and they never even SHOWED UP!
Thanks THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.!"

Low-Grade Fuel Substitute cries out:

"The trap is set. When Stardom comes traipsing
up the back steps, I'm entitled by law to beat it
to death with a length of lead pipe!"

Don't worry about signing up! There's nowhere to sign. In fact, we're
coming over right now! Just breath deeply and give in to the soft,
mustard-stained bosom of Total Stardom.

Help us put the 'Delab' back in 'Delabor'!

Gent Delabor, Sr.
CEO THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
Chief Executive Officer THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
CFO Global Stardom Entertainment
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Old 09-04-2004, 12:17 AM   #2
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this aint no ice cream social!

Hey, that's funny. red vs blue
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Old 09-05-2004, 02:08 PM   #3
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Red vs blue kicks butt.
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Old 09-05-2004, 04:56 PM   #4
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No comments about Thorax Corporation LLC,,. then, huh?
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Old 09-06-2004, 10:32 AM   #5
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I have no idea what you said.
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Old 09-06-2004, 10:38 AM   #6
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Me either. :blink:
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Old 09-06-2004, 07:22 PM   #7
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I checked out the site, it was pretty good humor.
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Old 09-07-2004, 11:46 AM   #8
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That was to long of a post I got tierd of it. <_<
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Old 09-07-2004, 02:40 PM   #9
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Hey, that's funny., great site.
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Old 09-07-2004, 04:23 PM   #10
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Thorax Dynamic Intern
or Thorax for HIRE!
Now shut up and listen. I get about 300,000 emails a day. But my Outlook is screwed up so really I only get about 3. Those are usually from me, sent to remind myself to pick up more grecian formula. But SOMETIMES, just ONE TIMES, those emails are from someone else. Someone real. Someone like this guy:
this site is made by a genius I am in awe

-PuckHead0

PuckHead0 is right and wrong. I AM a genius, however, he is NOT in Awe, Mississippi as he indicated. I spent $643 on plane tickets and no one there could tell me who PuckHead0 was or what an airport was or where Awe, Mississippi was. So anyways, I wrote him this email:

Mr. Head0,

Allow me to call myself Gent Delabor. Please allow yourself to do the same.
At this point I'm sure it has become apparent to you that I am CEO and Chief
Executive Officer of THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. Why you may ask? I don't
think anyone can truthfully answer that. In fact, all THORAX employees have
signed a written Affa David stating that if asked "Why is Gent Delabor,
Sr. the CEO and Chief Executive Officer of THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.?" they
are not allowed to truthfully answer. Leg's most common response is, "I
have to use toilet now. Bad ingestion." But I digest, there are matters
of upmost import regarding business of most high caliber that you and I
must discus.

Mr. Head0, I don't need to inform you that our nation is in the mist of
a reception. And no one is suffering more than the ergonomy. The dotcoms
are dying at a rate of rate times time. But THORAX is standing it's ground!
Our lease ended 6 months ago but have we moved a single piece of discount
office furniture? Yes! Back to my parents' basement! That's right, Puck,
THORAXCORP.COM is getting back to its roots. And we want you on, bored.

First, before any introduction, let me thank you for your kind emails. You
are just the kind of person I need to serve as my right hand dan. You are
the kind of person that thinks I'm a genius, and that's important. In fact,
Puck, it's umportant. I could really use someone like you around the basement.
You could follow me around, buy me lunch, and tell me what a genuis I am.
This used to be Leg's responsibility but he's allergic to mold and the basement
is musty. Allow me to roll out a brand new service from THORAX CORPORATION
LLC,,...

THORAX DYMANIC INTERN v1.0!

That's right, it's YOU! Start right away! Work from my home and earn hundreds
of ones of dollars a year! As a dymanic intern you'll have access to the
entire THORAX campus. The office, the driveway, the back porch, Leg's room,
my parent's kitchen! Don't delay! But don't Delabor. Federal regulations
restrict all Delabors from THORAX DYMANIC INTERN v1.0, violations punishable
by debt.

How to do it?! I have NO IDEA! Ask this guy:

Little Lord FontLereaux laments:
"I showed up at 403 Figgis Street with a bag of clothes and a heart full
of dreams. I left with bandaged hands!"

Forensic Scientist hollers:
"Whimper, whimper, sob, sob. That's all I hear all day! Thanks THORAXCORP!"

Restaurant Sam requires:
"2 weeks pay! Life on the street is hard. Thorax Dymanic Intern v1.0 made
it even harder!"

So there you have it. Poof positive of our success. When stardom comes knocking,
we slip out the back door. Please reponse soon and let us know will you
be joining THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. at the waist or do we have to get ugly?

Through it all,

Gent Delabor, Sr.
CEO THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
Chief Executive Office THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
CFO Global Stardom Entertainment

I never heard back from Puck and I'm beginning to fear the wurst. But just as I was about to cut the chord, I got this letter inside of my email!

I wood like to sine op fer yer secund incum streem. I m 5 fut se7en and non
fat. send im hear. tanks.

Andre

It didn't take long for me to figure out that this guy was an idiot and that reminded me of my brother Leg. But Leg wasn't around so I stole a bag of his Sun Chips and sat down to write a real winner:
Mr. Vieria,

I am what you would call Gent Delabor, Sr. As you probably already know,
I am CEO and Chief Executive Officer of THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. What this
means is, I make more money than anyone else here at THORAX. And it's about
time I got a raise. That's right, despise the economic reception our nation
is in the mist of, THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. is cutting loose! We've just
been approved for (1) count them (2) major grocery store chain credit cards!
Chips and dips? No problem! Here comes little THORAX with a gun in his hand.
And where will he take aim? At anyone that will listen.

So in honor of the huge galla were going to throw, we're throwing a PARTY!
And your invited! Admission is $500 US. Tuxedo, wad of cash, and (2) hot
dates required for entry (Tuxedo will not be returned, dates will be confiscated
at door). Baby Carrots and Doritos will be on sale for $5 apiece and a gourmet
bucket of chicken will be available to those who go to KFC beforehand and
buy one.

So when is it? Whenever you get here! How long does it last? Until you leave!
Start your plans today!

THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
403 Figgis Street
Mundelow, PA 80808

Always Impressive,

Gent Delabor, Sr.
CEO THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
Chief Executive Office THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
CFO Global Stardom Entertainment

No response from Andre either and he's taller than anyone here at THORAX so we've locked and bard the door justin case
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Old 09-11-2004, 02:04 PM   #11
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What is the site called?
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Old 09-12-2004, 02:53 PM   #12
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ThoraxCorp.com.

THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
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