Weapons Of "Math" Destruction

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RacerSoaker445
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Post by RacerSoaker445 » Sun Oct 03, 2004 7:15 pm

"At New York's La Guardia airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x"and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say,
there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft
continued.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to
inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the
President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math
instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. There is one principle he is uncertainty of: "Though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."
I don't check this forum anymore.

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Spinner
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Post by Spinner » Sun Oct 03, 2004 8:18 pm

Haha...that's pretty funny, even (or not "even") to a maths person like me. :D
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trekkie00
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Post by trekkie00 » Sun Oct 03, 2004 8:19 pm

Did you get that from the Darwin Awards?
Rereading these forums make me feel old >.<

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RacerSoaker445
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Post by RacerSoaker445 » Sun Oct 03, 2004 9:46 pm

No, I found it online at some spoof site.
I don't check this forum anymore.

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Neuro
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Post by Neuro » Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:17 am

Excuse the bump - forum moderation reasons :P
"I used to care, but now I take a pill for that."

You can pretty much ignore the times on that, I rarely ever have Xfire on when I play. I should, though.
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RacerSoaker445
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Post by RacerSoaker445 » Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:19 am

Eh, what kind of reasons?
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superstormer
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Post by superstormer » Fri Oct 08, 2004 8:54 pm

Don't question the man, else he'll ban you. :rolleyes:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Socrates)</div><div class='quotemain'>I drank what?!</div>

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Razor
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Post by Razor » Sun Oct 10, 2004 5:40 pm

Ha ha funny... <_<

Remember what happened to Vet? :unsure:
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blueviper
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Post by blueviper » Sun Oct 10, 2004 7:47 pm

chinese water torture?
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